Why You Shouldn't Face Your Neurodivergent Evaluation Alone

If you're preparing for a neurodivergent evaluation, you might assume you need to face it solo—just you, the clinician, and your best attempt to recall years of patterns. But here's a powerful truth: bringing a trusted person with you can transform the entire experience. Memory is slippery, especially when you're trying to articulate lifelong struggles under pressure. A supportive partner, friend, or family member becomes your ally, filling in the gaps and helping clinicians see the full picture of your strengths and challenges.

Why a Partner Makes All the Difference

Think of your trusted person as a witness to your real life. You might forget the small moments—the times you got stuck mid-task, the way time seems to vanish, or the intense focus you bring to your passions. They remember. Their concrete stories give professionals the context that a general self-report simply can't provide. It's not about weakness; it's about accuracy. With their input, the evaluation becomes a true collaboration, not a test you're trying to pass.

Choosing the Right Person to Bring

Pick someone who sees you in everyday situations. This could be:

• A partner who knows your routines and how you navigate daily tasks
• A close friend who's witnessed your work style and social patterns
• A family member who's observed you across different life stages

The key is that they should know you well enough to provide specific examples, not just vague impressions. Avoid someone who might minimise your struggles or exaggerate them—you need honest, balanced observations.

How to Prepare Them (What to Ask)

Give your person a head start by sharing a few simple prompts before the appointment. Ask them to note down:

• 'What tasks do I tend to avoid or leave unfinished?'
• 'When do you notice me getting stuck or overwhelmed?'
• 'What strategies have you seen actually work for me?'
• 'Where do you see me shine or hyperfocus?'

Encourage them to keep their notes short and specific. Real examples beat generalisations every time. For instance, 'She started organising the garage three times last month but never finished' paints a clearer picture than 'She struggles with follow-through.'

What to Bring on the Day

Your supporter can either join you in person for part of the appointment or provide written notes for you to share. If they're joining, let the clinic know in advance. If they're writing notes, ask them to focus on the 'what happened, when, and what changed' format. These tangible details give clinicians the patterns they need to make an accurate assessment—and to recommend strategies that fit your actual life, not an idealised version of it.

The Collaborative Advantage

With that extra perspective in the room (or on paper), you're no longer trying to be the perfect historian of your own brain. You're building a team approach to understanding yourself better. This isn't just helpful for the evaluation itself—it sets the tone for ongoing support. You're showing that you're open to input, willing to see your blind spots, and ready to work with others to build a life that works for you.

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