If you're a neurodivergent woman, you've likely carried an invisible backpack full of 'shoulds' for years. You should be neater, quicker, quieter, more organised—always more or less of something. But what if, instead of endlessly arguing with those rules, you could rewrite your inner narrative entirely? By tracing each limiting belief to its source and choosing new stories that actually fit you, you can transform overwhelm into empowerment.
Finding the Source of Your 'Shoulds'
Start by grabbing one stubborn 'should' that's been weighing you down. Now ask yourself a simple but powerful question: 'Who told me this?' The answer might surprise you:
- A teacher who expected everyone to work the same way
- A boss who valued speed over creativity
- A cultural message about how women are 'supposed' to behave
- A well-meaning parent who didn't understand your wiring
Naming the source helps you see the rule for what it truly is: a story you inherited, not a universal truth you must obey. This isn't about blame—it's about compassionate understanding of where these beliefs came from.
Choosing Narratives That Fit Your Wiring
Once you've traced a 'should' to its origin, it's time to write a new story. This is where the real transformation happens. Choose narratives that honour how your brain actually works, not how someone else thinks it should work.
For example:
- Instead of 'I'm lazy', try: 'My brain is wired for bursts of energy. I plan my day to use that natural rhythm.'
- Instead of 'I'm messy by nature', try: 'I need cue-rich spaces that help me remember. Visible organisation works better for me than hidden systems.'
- Instead of 'I should focus better', try: 'I focus deeply when the task matches my interest. I can design my work around that strength.'
When you pick a story that genuinely fits your wiring, something remarkable happens: strategies suddenly stick better. You're no longer battling your inner critic whilst trying to change a habit. You're working with yourself, not against yourself.
Building a Practice of Self-Guided Stories
This isn't a one-time exercise—it's an ongoing practice. Tackle one 'should' at a time. With repetition, you'll find yourself guided by your own values instead of shame and fear. You'll stop trying to fix yourself and start being yourself, on purpose, with stories that actually support you.
Remember: there is no 'right' way to be neurodivergent—only your way. That's a rule worth following.
As you rewrite your inner narrative, you might also benefit from practical support for your daily focus needs. Brainzyme offers scientifically proven plant-powered focus supplements designed to work alongside your personalised strategies, helping you maintain clarity and concentration when you need it most.
Discover how Brainzyme can support your unique brain at www.brainzyme.com


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