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What if the most powerful reward for your child isn't money, treats, or extra screen time—but simply you? Together Time is a parenting strategy that transforms motivation into genuine connection. When your child knows they can earn a planned, special moment with you, they work with heart and purpose, not just for a prize. This approach strengthens your bond whilst encouraging the behaviours you want to see, making it a win-win for the whole family.
Agree on Fun Activities
Start by sitting down together and choosing activities you both genuinely enjoy. Keep them simple and achievable: a quick card game, drawing together, shooting hoops in the garden, or a 10-minute walk around the block. The key is clarity and collaboration. Write down 3–5 options so your child has a menu to choose from when it's time to 'cash in'. This isn't a bribe offered in the heat of the moment—it's a clear, agreed-upon plan that you both commit to. When kids have a say in what they're working towards, they feel respected and motivated.
Track the Effort
Now connect the reward to specific, positive behaviours you want to encourage. Perhaps it's starting homework on time, following the morning checklist without reminders, or tidying up after a snack. Create a simple visual tracker—a chart on the fridge, a jar with tokens, or stickers on a calendar. Each completed task earns a set amount of time, such as 5 minutes per tick. This system makes progress visible and tangible. Your child can literally see their effort adding up, which builds momentum and a sense of achievement. Consistency is crucial here: stick to the plan, celebrate each small win, and avoid changing the rules mid-week.
Cash In the Time
Once your child has accumulated enough minutes, it's time to honour the agreement. Let them choose an activity from your agreed list and schedule it as soon as possible—ideally the same day. This immediacy reinforces the connection between effort and reward. Hold up that board game box, grab the football, or set out the art supplies with genuine enthusiasm. The anticipation and excitement of 'cashing in' becomes part of the reward itself. Remember, this moment isn't conditional—you're not lecturing or sneaking in corrections. You've already done the teaching through the tracking process. Now is purely about celebrating their hard work.
Enjoy and Connect
This is where the magic happens. Put your phone away, silence distractions, and be fully present. Play the game, share the laughter, and savour the moment together. As you wrap up, offer specific, genuine praise: 'You started your homework when the timer went off—brilliant job.' Kids don't just remember earning the reward; they remember how it felt to succeed with you by their side. That warm, proud feeling becomes the real motivator for tomorrow's effort, creating a positive cycle of connection and achievement.
Together Time isn't just about behaviour management—it's about building a relationship where your presence is the prize. When motivation comes from connection rather than cash, everyone wins.
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