How to Create Your Personal Helps vs Trips Me Up Map for Better Focus

If daily life feels like a constant test of your worth, it's time to turn that pressure into useful information. A simple two-column list can change everything. On one side, write 'Helps.' On the other, 'Trips Me Up.' This isn't about blame or judgement. It's a quick, personal map that shows you what to do more of and what to watch out for, so you can work with your brain instead of fighting against it.

Many people who need extra attention support carry years of negative messages. They start believing their performance equals their value. But that's not true. Think of your day like a road you're learning to drive. You're not the potholes or the traffic; you just need a better map to navigate smoothly.

Reflect on What Supports You

Before you start writing, take a quiet moment to think about your recent days. What actually helped you stay focused or calm? What made things harder? This isn't a test. You're simply gathering data about yourself. The book wisdom here is clear: noticing problem behaviours doesn't mean you're unlovable. Awareness is just information you can use to do better, not a verdict on your character.

• Sit somewhere comfortable with no distractions.
• Think about yesterday or this morning without judgement.
• Ask yourself: 'What felt easier?' and 'What felt harder?'

Organise Your Insights into Two Columns

Grab a piece of paper or open a notes app. Draw a line down the middle. Label the left column 'Helps' and the right column 'Trips Me Up.' Keep the language neutral and plain, like you're labelling drawers in a workshop. This structure turns chaos into clarity.

• 'Helps' might include: short moments of silence to reset, listening before reacting, or taking a quick walk.
• 'Trips Me Up' could be: comparing yourself to others, insisting on only one way to do things, or trying the same method when the situation has changed.

List Your Daily Patterns

Now fill in your map. Add at least three things under each column from today or this week. Be specific and honest. For example, instead of writing 'bad at meetings,' write 'feeling rushed before meetings makes me lose focus.' That gives you something actionable to work with.

• Use simple, concrete words that make sense to you.
• Focus on actions and situations, not fixed labels about yourself.
• Add to this list whenever you notice a new pattern.

Use Your Map to Navigate Each Day

Once your map is ready, put it somewhere you'll see it. Tomorrow, do more of the 'Helps' on purpose. Set gentle guardrails around the 'Trips Me Up' items. For instance, plan a quiet minute before meetings, and if you notice yourself forcing an old method on a new problem, pause and try a different route.

Over time, this becomes a friendly guide instead of a report card. You're simply learning what supports you and what doesn't, which is exactly what neurodivergent self-awareness is about: understanding yourself without self-attack. The map doesn't judge you. It just helps you get where you want to go.

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