How to Check Your Emotions Before Making Big Decisions

We've all been there. You're angry, your finger hovers over 'send', and a message you'll regret tomorrow is just one tap away. But what if you could interrupt that moment? What if checking your emotions before making big decisions became as automatic as checking the weather before you leave the house?

When strong feelings take control, our choices suffer. The good news? You can create a powerful shift with just 30 seconds. Here's how to check your emotional state and make decisions with awareness, not impulse.

Name What You Feel

This isn't about complex psychology. It's about basic honesty with yourself. Pause and identify the emotion that's present right now.

• Say it out loud or write it down: 'I feel anxious', 'I feel angry', or 'I feel overwhelmed'
• Be specific if you can - is it frustration, resentment, or pure rage?
• There's no right or wrong here - this is simply about recognition

For many people, especially those with neurodivergent minds, self-awareness of emotions doesn't come naturally. After stress or setbacks, heavy feelings like anger, anxiety, and sadness can colour every decision without us even realising it. Naming the emotion brings it into the light.

Rate Its Strength

Once you've named it, give your feeling a number from 1 to 10. Think of this as your emotional temperature reading.

A 3 or 4? You're likely calm enough to proceed. A 7, 8, or 9? That's your signal that this emotion is in the driver's seat, and you need to step back before making any big moves. This isn't about judging yourself or pushing feelings away - it's about understanding what's influencing you right now.

Over time, you'll start to recognise your patterns. Maybe you always rate your anger as a 5 when it's really a 7. That awareness alone is progress.

Pick One Small Next Step

Now comes the crucial part: your next action depends on that rating you just gave yourself.

• If your feeling is high (7-10), choose a tiny reset action first - drink a glass of water, walk for just one minute, or write the first sentence of what you need to say
• If it's lower (1-6), you're probably steady enough to make that call or send that message
• Take two slow breaths before you act, regardless of the number

Think of your feelings like dashboard lights - they're helpful signals, not the steering wheel itself. They alert you to what needs attention, but they shouldn't be making your decisions for you.

This simple check helps you act with awareness rather than impulse. Over time, you'll make steadier choices, even on the toughest days. You'll catch yourself before sending that heated text, making that snap judgement, or saying something you can't take back.

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